It's been forever

Two years since I've visited Perro Sexivo.

Totally forgot about it.  And whenever I did remember it, I was like, whatever.

What's happened in the 2+ years since I've written?

I gained back all of the weight I lost.  And then some.

Totally hating myself for it.  But not hating myself enough to truly commit to fixing it.  Or is that not loving myself enough?

And I turned 30 last week.

I'm in a funk.

Seeing all these people around me, all happy, all in love.

Here I am.  Odd man out.

Never been laid.  Never been kissed.  Never had anybody tell me they love me in the romantic sense.

I want it.

I don't know where to start.

Later.
-Justin