Broken Records

At one point, I had a handle on things. I was losing weight, finding confidence in myself, becoming one step closer to the person I knew I could be.

I let it all go.

Gained all the weight back and then some.

When I first started losing weight back in 2007, I was at my then heaviest weight of 346.

I'm now 364.

My confidence has turned to shit.

I'm stuck.

I'm single. And I want to date but don't want to at the same time. I run a bigger risk of rejection at this heavier size. I'm letting my fear of heartbreak win over my desire for happiness.

I'm not happy with myself.

I need to start over.

And I'm going to ask for something from you. Not support.

Don't baby me. Don't tell me "oh, you've had a bad day/week/whatever, I'll let you slide." Tell me what I need to hear. Not what I want.

Kick my ass.

Thanks.

-Justin