All Awkward and Stuff

My whole life I've tended to avoid most social situations.

For the most part it's been easy.  When I was in middle/high school, I hid behind a faux-goth exterior.  By that I mean I wore all black.  Not necessarily the music/culture/lifestyle.  I'm arguably more goth now than I ever have been, with an extensive music collection including Siouxsie and the Banshees, The Smiths, Depeche Mode, etc.

I skipped out on the school dances.  Except the one after 8th grade graduation.  And another one my senior year.  They were mandatory.

I missed out on prom.  Both of them.  I don't even remember the theme to the senior prom.  I remember voting for it, though.  I think I voted for "Get Me Off" by Basement Jaxx in the write-in portion.

Junior prom was "Can't Fight the Moonlight."  If I were social, I probably would still have skipped that one on principle alone.  The theme from Coyote Ugly?  Come on.

I still find myself staying away from anything involving hanging out with others.  Just don't like putting myself in those situations.  I eventually creep up against the corner and wait for everything to be over so I can go home and catch up on whatever I missed on TV with my DVR.

Tonight was no exception.

Work had a big bowling blowout extravaganza.  Free bowling and shoes.  Everybody went, and according to the latest Facebook posts, it was awesome.

I stayed home.

I wouldn't have had a good time.  I would have stayed in the corner, emerging only to roll the ball periodically.

I try to be social with coworkers and always end up looking like the creepy guy trying to horn in on a conversation.  Why subject myself to that off the clock?

Tired of this awkwardness.  But at the same time I'm feeding it.  Damn vicious cycle.

There's more to this, but I can't quite figure out how to communicate it at the moment.

So I'll just say...

Later.
-Justin